Doing It With An Alien

I’ve read a few posts recently asking how to write a description of a sexual encounter with an alien - the problem being that, of course (?), we don’t know what aliens have got and what they do with it.

In writing my own story, which is based firmly in reality, I didn’t have this problem directly, but the issue did come up.  I got around the problem by having the characters talk about what they think about doing it with an alien, rather than by describing how they would do it with an alien.  It was one of those instances where talking about doing it seemed to be sexier than describing it!

So here's the dialogue on this topic. 

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I asked him the first question that popped in my mind.  “Let me ask you something.  Do you watch much porn?”
“Sure,” he answered.
“What d’you like?”
“You know, the type of girls I described at dinner.  Young, blonde.  Perky.”  He said, and then paused.
“Like on Twisty’s?  You ever look at that” I asked him.
“Yeah, like that.”
“I know what you mean.”  I paused.  “You ever look at guys?”
“Yeah, I have.”  He thought about it.  “But they really don’t do much for me.”  
I think he was being honest.  I mean, at this point, why would he lie about that?  But I wanted to be honest with him.
“They do something for me,” I said, quietly.
“Really?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Like what.  What d’you like?”
“Guys like you.”
He laughed.
“I’m serious,” I said.
“Really?”  he asked again.  I could tell he was trying to understand.  “Like what?”
“You know,” I said.  “Really good looking, built, nice muscles, curly hair.”  I paused, and stretched up to put my lips right next to his ear.  “Nice big cocks.”
“You’re joking,” he said.
“No, I’m serious.”
“Size matters?”
“Size matters.”
“So how do I …?”
I knew what he wanted to ask.  “Measure up?”  I completed his question.
“Yeah.”
“You are off the scale, John, off the scale.”  I paused.  “A dream come true.”
“See,” he said.  “That’s what I just can’t believe.”
“What?”  I asked, wondering why he couldn’t believe how amazing he was.  
But he explained what he meant.  “It’s like, you’re exactly the way I thought you would be.”
“You thought I would like big cocks?  Wow.”  I was actually puzzled.
“No,” he laughed.  He looked down at me again, and I swear his eyes actually sparkled.  Then he laughed again.  “It’s like I said before, man, you’re a superfreak.”  He squeezed my shoulder, and kissed my forehead.  “You’re wild.”
“Your wild little elf fuck,” I said, contentedly.
“Yeah,” he laughed again, but I could tell he was starting to understand.  To understand me, that is.  “You like that, don’t you?”
“What?”
“That I thought of you as an elf.”
“Yeah,” I said, trying to be serious.  “I like it alot.”
“Why?”
“It’s sexy,” I said, shrugging.  “It’s different.  It makes me feel special.”  I paused, and turned my head to look him right in the eye.  “Like I’m special to you.”
I could see he was taken aback.  Like he just retreated a bit.  “I’m sorry,” I continued, sincerely.  “Does that bother you?  I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”
“No, not at all.  It’s just …” He paused, thinking.  “It’s just weird because I think that’s what I’ve always wanted.”
“Cool.”  I smiled.  Then I thought about what he said.  “What d’you mean?  Tell me what you wanted.”
“I wanted you, I guess.”  I smiled, and he continued.  “Really.  When I came here to Charlotte, I think that’s what I was thinking.  That I wanted you.  Like I had to capture you, somehow.”  He drifted off.
“Just say it,” I said.  “Just describe what’s running through your head.”
He thought for a moment more, then just started talking.  “That time when I was watching you in Gary’s back yard.  You were building something and I was watching you.  Watching you move around the yard in those tight jeans; then you were just floating.  I think that’s how I always thought about you.  Like you were floating somewhere.”
“Where was I floating?”
“Out in space.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“How did I get there?  Was I an astronaut?”
“No, it’s not like you went to space.  You were just there.”
“I’m just there,” I repeated.  “Like I came from space?”
He looked at me with this funny, crooked smile.
“What?”  I asked.
“No,” he said, “this is too weird.”
“C’mon.”
“No, you’ll think I’m making it up.”
“So what?”
I guess he realized it didn’t matter.  Like anything he said now could be weirder than what we had already said.
“So I remember reading this story online,” he continued.  “It must’ve been at least ten years ago, or more.  So this was back in the ‘90s.  I read this story about a guy who captured an alien.  You know, it was the same old thing, how the alien ship crash lands in the desert.  And he runs over and the alien is still alive.  A sole survivor, you know.  So he takes it home.  But the thing is, this alien is super sexy.  Like the guy starts getting really turned on by the alien and he wants to fuck it.  But at first, he can’t figure out how.  How to do it, y’know.”
“Uh huh, go on.”
“But he figures it out and he fucks the alien and it’s great.  But he can’t communicate with the alien so he doesn’t know if it likes it, or not.  But he likes fucking the alien so much that he gets worried it’s gonna run away, or escape.  So he makes this cage in his house and he puts the alien there, and he only takes it out to fuck it.”
“Wow.  Is that all?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you like that story?”
“Well, it just stuck in my head.  And when you said that, about you coming from space, I thought about it again.”
“Did you like thinking about it?”
He looked down at me, and smiled.  “Yeah, I liked it.”
I smiled back at him, conspiratorially.  “So before, when you were reading that story years ago, did it get you off?”
“Yeah,” he smiled more.
“More than once?”
“Yeah.”
“Like you wanted your own alien – an alien you could keep in a cage and fuck whenever you wanted?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you know what I think?”  I asked.
“What?”
“I don’t think he needed the cage at all.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“‘Cause the alien really liked being fucked.  It really liked when the guy fucked it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that what aliens like?”  he asked, teasingly.  “Do they like being fucked by guys?”
“D’you think I can speak for aliens?”  I asked.  We looked at each other.  I leaned up close to him, put my lips right next to his ear, and whispered.  “Do you think I’m an alien, John?”  He murmured.  I could feel him getting harder and I felt his heartbeat getting faster.  “‘Cause that’s what I am, John,” I said, still whispering.  “Your wild little alien elf fuck.”
I started kissing his neck and wrapped my arm more tightly around his shoulders.  We’d put our glasses down and we got more comfortable.  He reached one hand down to run it over my back and my ass while I kept talking.
“And when you came to Charlotte,” I continued, “you were hunting.  You were gonna find the wild little alien elf fuck that you’d been dreaming about for so long.  And when you found it, you’d capture it, and you’d fuck it.  You’d fuck your wild little alien elf, right?”
“Hmm hmm,” he murmured, affirmatively.
“Remember, you told me how you’d fuck it.”
“When?”
“You know, when you talked about bending me over and I’m crying and saying, ‘No, stop.’ But you just kept fucking.  Fucking me harder and harder.”
“Yeah.”  This didn’t diminish his erection, which was now nearly full.  I was glad.
“Well, that’s good, John,” I continued.
“Why?”
“‘Cause that’s what wild little alien fucks need.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”  
“Even though they don’t know it, that’s what they need?”  he asked.
“Yeah, that’s what they need.”  I paused.  “They need to be fucked really hard by a guy like you.  Fucked really, really hard.”
“Why?”  he asked.
“Why what?”  I responded, teasingly.
“Why do wild little alien elf fucks need to be fucked really, really hard?”  he obliged.
“‘Cause when they are …”
“Are what?”
“Fucked really, really, hard.”
“Uh huh.”
“‘Cause when they are,” I continued.  “They find out that’s what they really want.  What they really need.  They need a guy like you to fuck ‘em really, really hard.”
“That’s what you need?”
“What am I, John?”
“You’re my wild little alien elf fuck, Mark.”
“So that’s what I need.”